When the Roles You’ve Played No Longer Fit

By Melissa Koch, Embodied Healing LLC

August has a quiet kind of tension. The back-to-school energy is in the air—even if you’re not packing lunches or buying spiral notebooks. There’s a collective shift happening. A sense that the world is resetting. And for many women, especially those in midlife, that shift can stir up something deeper:

“Who am I now?”

You may have spent years being the responsible one. The fixer. The nurturer. The achiever. The one who kept things running smoothly, even when the cost was your own identity. And maybe now, those roles don’t fit the way they used to. Maybe you’ve started to outgrow them.

That’s not failure. That’s growth.

This season of life—empty nesting, career pivots, changing relationships, shifting bodies—can bring an unexpected identity crisis. Not the kind that screams, but the kind that whispers, “This version of me isn’t quite right anymore.”

And here’s the truth: That’s allowed.

You are allowed to change.

You are allowed to grow past the roles you were handed, the ones you clung to, or even the ones you once chose.

In therapy, we talk about these transitions as sacred. They’re not problems to fix but invitations to rediscover who you are beneath the performing and pleasing. To ask questions like:

    •    Who am I when I’m not who I’ve always been?

    •    What do I actually want now?

    •    What kind of life would feel like mine?

September is a beautiful time to begin this work.

As the world resets, maybe you can too.

If you’re ready to explore the parts of yourself that have been buried beneath responsibility, burnout, or perfectionism—I’d love to walk that path with you.

Let’s start where you are, not where you think you should be.

If your navigating changes in midlife, therapy can offer a grounding space to reconnect with yourself. At Embodied Healing LLC in St. Louis, MO 63122, I specialize in somatic and attachment based therapy for women who are outgrowing old roles and yearning for a deeper, more authentic life. Many of my clients identify as gifted or emotionally intense-high achieving, deeply feeling women who have spent years performing, perfecting, or caretaking. If you are ready to rediscover yourself and create a life that actually fits, reach out today to schedule a consultation.